The Agony of Love
This one is going to be a little more personal than I ever intended to get on here, but man I gotta get this out of my system. Besides, judging by the amount of comments I get it doesn’t appear that anyone even reads this crap anyways.
What am I supposed to do? My oldest stepdaughter has been married for something like 7 years now. Her husband is an infantryman in the Army and they have 2 kids together. She never graduated from High School despite several attempts and interventions by me so she has no marketable job skills to speak of. The small handful of jobs that she is able to do she always loses as quickly as she gets them because she can not control her temper and ends up getting fired or something shortly after starting. Her husband is an infantryman in the Army and has been in long enough that he makes damn good money. Hell, he makes as much if not more than I do. The only bills they have are paying back stupid loans that they have taken out over the years for stupid things. They live in base housing so they have no rent. Their vehicles just get repossessed as quickly as they get them because they don’t make the payments, and so that leaves phone and food.
Yet they never, ever have money and they always call me asking for money. Now I am a believer in tough love, but if I don’t send them money then my grandkids don’t eat. So what am I supposed to do? My daughter will never grow up if I keep bailing her out, but her kids, my grandkids, should not have to suffer so I can try to make their momma grow up. So I keep going without things I would like to get in order to bail her out and make sure that my grandkids have food.
Now she tells us she may be pregnant again, a month after giving birth to her last baby.
My younger daughter is unfortunately beginning down a similar path, but hers is more the fault of her stupid husband. She was in training to go into the National Guard herself when she got pregnant. She was discharged from the service and her and this boy who is the father of her child got married. He is only 19 and has no clue about life and fatherhood. He is an arrogant ass and does little to nothing to help her. Oh, and they live with me now and have taken over my house with their baby and stuff. Now I am not blaming him exclusively by any means. After all, it takes 2 to tango. But she has a nasty habit of making mistakes and then compounding them in an effort to make things better. In no time at all she finds herself in a deeper hole than when she started. What I am trying to say is that she never should have married this boy. Neither one of them were ready, which me and her mother both told her repeatedly, but she didn't listen and now things are just worse for her.
I love my kids but I sure as hell wish they would learn what a condom is and how to use it. Neither one of them should be parents right now and I am so tired of bailing them out.
Love can be a bitch sometimes.
What am I supposed to do? My oldest stepdaughter has been married for something like 7 years now. Her husband is an infantryman in the Army and they have 2 kids together. She never graduated from High School despite several attempts and interventions by me so she has no marketable job skills to speak of. The small handful of jobs that she is able to do she always loses as quickly as she gets them because she can not control her temper and ends up getting fired or something shortly after starting. Her husband is an infantryman in the Army and has been in long enough that he makes damn good money. Hell, he makes as much if not more than I do. The only bills they have are paying back stupid loans that they have taken out over the years for stupid things. They live in base housing so they have no rent. Their vehicles just get repossessed as quickly as they get them because they don’t make the payments, and so that leaves phone and food.
Yet they never, ever have money and they always call me asking for money. Now I am a believer in tough love, but if I don’t send them money then my grandkids don’t eat. So what am I supposed to do? My daughter will never grow up if I keep bailing her out, but her kids, my grandkids, should not have to suffer so I can try to make their momma grow up. So I keep going without things I would like to get in order to bail her out and make sure that my grandkids have food.
Now she tells us she may be pregnant again, a month after giving birth to her last baby.
My younger daughter is unfortunately beginning down a similar path, but hers is more the fault of her stupid husband. She was in training to go into the National Guard herself when she got pregnant. She was discharged from the service and her and this boy who is the father of her child got married. He is only 19 and has no clue about life and fatherhood. He is an arrogant ass and does little to nothing to help her. Oh, and they live with me now and have taken over my house with their baby and stuff. Now I am not blaming him exclusively by any means. After all, it takes 2 to tango. But she has a nasty habit of making mistakes and then compounding them in an effort to make things better. In no time at all she finds herself in a deeper hole than when she started. What I am trying to say is that she never should have married this boy. Neither one of them were ready, which me and her mother both told her repeatedly, but she didn't listen and now things are just worse for her.
I love my kids but I sure as hell wish they would learn what a condom is and how to use it. Neither one of them should be parents right now and I am so tired of bailing them out.
Love can be a bitch sometimes.
posted by The Idahoan at 1:57 PM
1 Comments:
I have a cousin that has three children, each having a different father. She too has no marketable skills, no degree to speak of, and can't keep a job to save her life - she might have a job for a week or two, but inevitably, she'll either get fired for her mouth, or she'll quit because it was "too hard" - and we're talking minimum wage jobs here! She gave up her second kid for adoption, but her first and third kids live with her parents (who can barely afford to take care of themselves). She bitches constantly that her parents aren't raising her kids right, and whines all the time that it's her parents fault that she is the loser that she is. Our church has given her money for food and rent for like 6 months while she "gets back on her feet" and she takes that money and wastes it on cigarrettes and crap until she is evicted and then lives from friend to friend. After a year or so, when the church leadership changes and she's off the radar, she goes back to church and gets another 6 months paid. If people would stop paying her way, she might actually get motivated and do something with her life. As it is now, she's a worthless bum. My point is, you need to quit giving your kids money. If you are worried about the welfare of your grandkids, buy their groceries for them, or send them food coupons, but quit sending money. It's like when Katrina hit and the government was giving all those people money and they went and bought entertainment systems and crap instead of things they'd need to survive. Stupid people do stupid things with money. As far as the kids who live with you, make some rules and tell them they can follow the rules or get out. And be prepared to kick them out if they don't follow the rules. One or two nights of trying to bum off friends to find a place for a couple with a baby to stay a night or two usually cures the rule breaking and can do wonders to humble a young couple. Just make sure they know you'll welcome them back as long as they're willing to submit to your rules.
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