Mormonism and Me
I have a confession to make; I am a recovering Mormon. I am attempting to recover from the brainwashing that was instituted on me from the time I could crawl, and sometimes it still rears its ugly head up and kind of freaks me out. I have been clean from it for almost 3 years now, but I am afraid there will always be a part of me, deep down inside, that will scream to me that I am going to go to hell.
I figure that if I am going to go to hell, at least it will be without guilt or remorse.
I have done a great many things in my life that would be deeply frowned upon by the Mormon Church. In fact, even if I were to try to go back at this point I would just be ridiculed, quilted, and kicked back out. So what is the point? If they are right, and when I die I am taken before some grand judgment bar and judged by some higher power, at least I will be able to hold my head high and say “this is me, take me as I am or don’t take me at all.” So many other people I know live total shams of lives, constantly enduring brow-beatings and humiliation in an effort to “cleanse” themselves of their carnal natures. I say hogwash to that. I am a carnal creature. I crave things that go against everything the church teaches and Christianity in general teaches but are as natural to me as eating and sleeping. I am not going to live my life in misery based upon some words in a book that tell me I am supposed to live that way. If god is so great and omnipotent and powerful and all that then why don’t he come tell me that? If he/she came to me and told me that I would live that way tomorrow. But I have never seen anything to make me believe that he/she exists in the form that the majority of people believe, so I walked away from all that years ago.
I have to say I like the way Jesse Ventura said it, years ago in a Playboy interview; “God is a crutch for weak-minded people.”
If there is some sort of higher power than I need to see it. Seeing is believing. Until I see something substantial to convince me otherwise I am just going to live my life trying to be a good person and doing good for others, but at the same time I am not going to deny my true nature. It is not worth the headache.
I figure that if I am going to go to hell, at least it will be without guilt or remorse.
I have done a great many things in my life that would be deeply frowned upon by the Mormon Church. In fact, even if I were to try to go back at this point I would just be ridiculed, quilted, and kicked back out. So what is the point? If they are right, and when I die I am taken before some grand judgment bar and judged by some higher power, at least I will be able to hold my head high and say “this is me, take me as I am or don’t take me at all.” So many other people I know live total shams of lives, constantly enduring brow-beatings and humiliation in an effort to “cleanse” themselves of their carnal natures. I say hogwash to that. I am a carnal creature. I crave things that go against everything the church teaches and Christianity in general teaches but are as natural to me as eating and sleeping. I am not going to live my life in misery based upon some words in a book that tell me I am supposed to live that way. If god is so great and omnipotent and powerful and all that then why don’t he come tell me that? If he/she came to me and told me that I would live that way tomorrow. But I have never seen anything to make me believe that he/she exists in the form that the majority of people believe, so I walked away from all that years ago.
I have to say I like the way Jesse Ventura said it, years ago in a Playboy interview; “God is a crutch for weak-minded people.”
If there is some sort of higher power than I need to see it. Seeing is believing. Until I see something substantial to convince me otherwise I am just going to live my life trying to be a good person and doing good for others, but at the same time I am not going to deny my true nature. It is not worth the headache.
posted by The Idahoan at 12:38 PM
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